Perfectionism in Creativity

Where do you go, when you go to write? Is there a specific place in your mind that you think of to help clear your thoughts? Are there certain thoughts that prevent you from getting very far? Sometimes, I stare at the computer screen and pick at my nails until I give up and return to whatever else I was doing before writing. Sometimes, I’ll write a few sentences but will get sidetracked by how I want my writing to be. Then there are the times when I’ll write something that I like and guard it like gold, afraid to touch it, as if editing it or sharing it would smother the place in my mind where it came from. Getting through the personal pressure of perfection is something that I have struggled with for years, and it’s always found its way into my mind each time I sit down to create.

Recently, I read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, the same author who wrote the bestselling novel Eat, Pray, Love. She talks about perfectionism, and how it is born out of fear. In her creative practice, she takes to speaking to her fear directly, to let it know that while it will be present, she will not be listening. I was so inspired by this idea; maybe there is no way of ridding fear entirely, and waiting for the “right” time to sit down and write could render one waiting for years, perhaps forever. It’s not something that I want for myself. Gilbert explains that she never held herself to be a great writer, only a consistent one. And, since she’d never put pressure on herself to write exquisitely well in everything she did, there were no hard feelings when what she produced was mediocre.

It sounds easy, in theory: just wave at fear as it passes you by — no need to have a full conversation with it. The problem that I have realized is that, through ignoring the issue of perfectionism over the years, it has become so ingrained in my creative process that I don’t even realize it’s the one steering, instead of my imagination or intuition.

This blog is an experiment of sorts: to push me out of my comfort zone and to write frequently, even when I feel that what I am creating is mediocre at best. Because, odds are, it’s really not as bad as I think it is. Or maybe it is trash in someone’s eyes; it doesn’t really matter. What matters, is that writing makes me feel good. In the end, that’s all it should be about, anyway.